You were just a little boy, forced to be a man overnight. I remember when we first moved here, and we were so hopeful about the future. It was summer and we were just living in the moment, transitioning from our old home to this new one. We were moving in all our things to our new rooms. You ended up with the room without the bathroom but you didn’t mind..

I look across into that empty room and all I can hear are the bubbles from the aquarium that is still there. But I wish I could hear you come out and say lets go outside and ride the ATV. 

I hugged you a lot when you were in the hospital, but now I still feel like I didn’t hug you enough. Regrets.. I haven’t learned how to let go yet.. There are so many sorries I have left to say.

I’m sorry for how I treated you when we were younger…

I’m sorry for not sleeping outside with you when I had the chance and instead telling you we would do it someday…someday just never came…I’m sorry for that too. 

I’m sorry I had to lie to you and tell you everything would be okay. I was lying to myself too.

I’m sorry for that mean prank we did on you when we were kids at the San Jose house.

I hope you know I love you and I miss you very much. 


Your big bro.

cant wait for summer… final left!!!!

cant wait for summer… final left!!!!

that line struck a chord in my heart i didn’t know existed because it was always drowned out by the sounds of sadness. i think it’s called hope..or something like that.

that line struck a chord in my heart i didn’t know existed because it was always drowned out by the sounds of sadness. i think it’s called hope..or something like that.

(Source: )

Trust is like an eraser, it gets smaller & smaller after every time you make a mistake.

(Source: yanilavigne)

“I’m falling for you babe..”


chubby girls in skinny people clothes..

i had a dream you were a little baby..


It hurts so much knowing after a long day I can’t come home to chill with you. Or when I look over to the passenger seat wishing you were cruising with me. I hope you are happy..that hope is the only thing that keeps me from breaking down sometimes. One day I’ll see you again little man..I know I don’t deserve it, but save me a spot in heaven..


your big bro.

losing myself and finding myself at the same time.

I haven’t been posting a lot but I feel like I should have… Lately my life has been taking so many twists and turns, I feel like I’ve been going with the flow a lot lately. Which I think could be a good thing but also a bad thing for me. 

Going with the flow has been good in that I feel like I’ve experienced more out of life and I’ve been having a lot more fun. I enjoy all the moments I spend with Kellyn. Moments that may seem like a waste of time because sometimes we just lay in bed napping all day, but those moments are the best to me..

But then I know that spending all that time away from school does have an effect on my focus. If I have to be completely honest with myself, I would say that I don’t deserve straight A’s this quarter. My work ethic has declined, I’m not as focus, and my motivation is in other areas. What can I end up with? I’m hoping I can get 3A and 1B…and thats hoping. In previous quarters I wouldn’t settle for any B’s..I’m really not happy with that.

I am happy with life though. I wish I could be better at balancing fun and work, but I think it’s just this phase I’m going through. I’m hoping in the future I can prioritize my time better…

Regrets? … not yet. 

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